Descriptions of the Five Love Languages

Editorial Reviews from Amazon.com

From AudioFile
A seasoned marriage counselor says people feel most loved in a marriage in one of five ways: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Though we have a primary love language, we can learn a second language so that our spouse's needs are met. It's all about giving a little here and there, and accepting that our spouse's preferred channel may be different from ours. Though the author's life work is based on Christian principles, his ideas and personal style will resonate with people of all faiths and levels of involvement in organized religion. Whether your marriage needs a tune-up or a major overhaul, these are powerful prescriptions delivered by a genial, wise man. T.W. © AudioFile 2003, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.


Book Description
In The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman talks about how different people express love in different ways. Some people are verbal, expressing their love in words. Others may never speak their affection, yet they show it by the things they do.

Sadly, many couples look to receive love the same way they give it, misunderstanding their spouses. This can lead to quarrels, hurt feelings, and even divorce. However, if you understand each other's love languages, you can learn to give and receive love more effectively.~ --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Receiving Gifts

Giving

Presents and physical tokens of affection move you. It's the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.
  • I tend to give others things to express my feelings about them.
  • I feel so good when I receive a present from someone… or even just get a freebie.
  • I can feel quite depressed when I don’t get a gift, especially when I expected one.
  • I would rather get a reward than extravagant applause.

 

Quality Time

Time together\

This can be expressed either through those intimate tête-à-tête discussions or via doing things together.
  • I get lonely and begin to feel uncared about if I can’t hang out with someone I love.
  • I feel complete when I spend time with people I love.
  • I show people I care by being with them.
  • I expect others who care about me to spend their time with me.

 

Acts of Service

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You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.
  • I often feel special, significant, and useful when I help others.
  • I often feel upset when others don’t help me out, much less offer to do anything.
  • I show affection by doing things for other people.
  • I don’t usually ask for help, but when someone does something for me, I feel really cherished.

 

Physical Touch

Hugging

You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not center on sex.
  • I give and expect in return hugs, pats, kisses, and other physical signs of affection.
  • I feel especially warm and appreciated when another touches me in a meaningful way.
  • I can feel awful about myself when people I love don’t touch me.
  • I like to show my feelings physically.

 

Words of Affirmation

Talking

You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why.
  • I find that another’s criticism really, really hurts.
  • I tell those whom I love that I love them. That’s sufficient for me.
  • I feel like I need compliments, so sometimes I “fish” for them.
  • I feel like “a million bucks” when I get sincere praise.

 

 

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